We're moving to Florida!

We’re moving to Florida.  At least, I seriously considered this option after flying down for a family vacation last Tuesday.  Kayla was an angel, taking turns sitting on everyone’s laps, playing with stickers, eating some snacks.  However, her sister Zoey was a complete nightmare.  Literally screamed, not cried, screamed for 2.5 hours on a plane.  I tried everything – giving her her cup, snacks, different toys, sitting down, standing up, and walking up and down the aisle.  Nothing worked.  I held it together for most of the flight, but I think after about 2 hours, I started crying myself!  I just couldn’t take it anymore!  And while I’m sure most of the strangers on the plane were thinking to themselves, “Get this woman and her crying baby off the plane,” no one said it to my face!  IN fact, people were much nicer than I expected, making comments like, “Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.”  Anyway the point is, when Dave, Kayla, Zoey, Jaimie my sister-in-law with her family and Dave’s parents got off the plane in West Palm Beach, I looked at them and said, “Well, you’ll have to come visit us here because I am never doing that again!”

The rest of the vacation was fabulous though!  The girls had a great time in the pool, on the beach, although they were a little scared of the sand, at the park and most importantly with their family!  They were definitely a little clingy, especially to me, and were picked up by some family member at the slightest whimper, but I’m sure I’ll fix that now that we’re home.  That’s right; we did make it home to New York!  The flight back was perfect in fact.  It was during the girls nap time so they slept for about 2 hours of the flight, woke up happy, had some snacks and then landed without a peep!  So, a big thank you to my in-laws for another fabulous Grochow family vacation!  But, now it’s back to reality!  Dave already left for work and I’m taking the girls back to their partial separation mommy and me class today.  I have my fingers and toes crossed that they separate okay!  Of course, I’ll keep you posted!

On two side notes, I have guest blogged on an amazing site, Dana’s kids (www.danaskids.com)  It’s an amazing website with a ton of information for parents.  Please check out my post at http://danaskids.com/site/2012/02/13/guest-post-twinsplicity.  Thanks so much for all the support!

Lastly, I have to give a huge shout out to two of my favorite people, Jen and Adam Hartley.  They live in my development, literally down the street from me, and they are having twin girls this summer!  I could not be more excited!!  I know they will be the best parents of multiples ever!  And, Kayla and Zoey are so excited for more twins friends!  Just adding to the A-Team!!

It's all worth it!

So, now that my girls are healthy again, I have two funny stories to share:

At the girls’ last mommy and me class last week, the teachers were handing out their coloring books that the kids made all semester.  The teacher would call out a child’s name, but no child was able to reference him or herself at this age so the parent would grab the project of course.  But, when the teacher said, “Where’s Kayla?”  Zoey looked at her and pointed right at Kayla with this look that was saying, “Here she is silly!”  Then when the teacher asked, “Where’s Zoey?” Kayla did the same thing and pointed at Zoey.  It was hysterical and super adorable!!

Later that day we got home from class and lunch and the girls walked into the house.  I asked for their jackets and Zoey stood by the hall closet so I could take hers off and hang it up, but Kayla ran away.  After I hung up my jacket and Zoey’s jacket, I called out, “Kayla, where are you?”  I looked in the kitchen, but she wasn’t there.  I looked in the living room, but she wasn’t there.  I looked behind the couch, but she wasn’t there.  Zoey was with me the whole time looking as well.  Finally I turned around to head back towards the hall and I spot Kayla standing in the corner of the dining room with the funniest grin on her face, waiting for us to find her.  I started cracking up, so did she, so did Zoey and then Kayla ran from her hiding spot and Zoey followed her.  It was also hysterical and super adorable!

So, moral of the stories is, even though sometimes things can be so difficult like when you have 2 sick babies at home, there are moments like these that make it all worth it, I promise!

2 Sick Babies

So, I have 2 sick babies at home and it sucks.  I feel so badly for them and I feel so badly for me too.  There’s just nothing worse than being stuck in your house all day for the last 4 days, trying to make both babies feel better but failing miserably.  I guess on the bright side it’s better to have them sick at the same time and get it over with rather than have 1 sick baby and just when she’s all better, have another sick baby.  But, still, this sucks!  This is one of the times when having twins is not so fun.  And while the girls are still cute and delicious, it’s just plain sad.  IN fact, here’s one of the sadder stories I have to tell so far:

As I’ve mentioned before, the girls are starting to talk, Zoey more so than Kayla.  So, it’s starting to get easier to figure out what they want.  Rather, I should say what they don’t want.  The girls seem to have a virus with runny noses, a little cough and fever.  So, periodically, throughout the day I’ve been taking their temperature to determine if I should give them Tylenol.  It seems that Zoey doesn’t really like having her temperature taken, and to be honest, I don’t blame her.  I would not like the thermometer where I put it either.  Anyway, last night as Dave and I are getting the girls ready for a bath, I took Zoey’s temperature and she started hysterically crying.  Through her sobs she started whimpering, “All done, all done.”  I thought I was going to lose it and start crying myself.  I felt so badly for her.  And she just kept repeating over and over, “all done all done.”  Obviously she wanted to me to be finished taking her temperature.  I felt horrible!  And now she has continued to do this today anytime I have taken her temperature.  It’s killing me!  I cannot wait for this virus to pass!

So, here’s some advice for when you have sick twin babies at home with you:  1.  DO watch Elmo, or any other TV show like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (Kelly, Sean and Brett, that’s for you guys!), which seems to be one of the only things that calms Zoey down after the temperature fiasco and distracts the girls form not feeling well!  2.  DO NOT take their temperature any more than necessary!  3.  And DO, if possible, hire your babysitter to come over and deal with the babies while you treat yourself to some pampering like a manicure and a glass of wine.  I cannot wait for Emma to come here tomorrow afternoon!  Wish me luck everyone and hope that the girls both feel better soon!

Time for School...Almost!

Oh my Gd, I just got back from registering the girls for nursery school for next year!  This feels crazy!  I cannot believe I will have two 2-year olds that will be in school!  I had the option of doing 2, 3 or 4 mornings per week and I have decided on 4 mornings.  I am so excited for the girls, but secretly (or not so secretly since I’m blogging about it!) I am super excited for me too!!  I’m just having a tough time picturing what they will be like 8 months from now, going off to school on their own!  I wonder if they’ll be similar to the way they are now, which as I’ve mentioned before is so different.  In fact, lately, I’m noticing their differences even more.

This weekend Dave and I finally put together this adorable tree house we got for the girls birthday from a few of our friends.  We originally thought we would wait and set it up outside in the spring but the girls we decided to just do it now in our basement.  And as soon as were set it up, all on her own, Kayla taught herself to climb the three steps to the top, turn around onto her butt and then slide down the slide!  We were literally awed!  Of course Zoey could not do this by herself and needed help climbing up and then switching to go down the slide.  But in the same day, she repeated several ridiculously hard words, like Hanukkah and mascara!  So, I truly feel like I have one very physical girl and one very verbal girl.  I am dying to see if this trend will continue when they are older.  Maybe Kayla will be more of the athlete and Zoey will be a literary genius!  Only time will tell….

Good morning Zoey!

Okay, so I owe Kayla an apology (especially if she ever reads my blog when she learns how to read!).  The last few days she has been getting better for sure!  In fact, she’s also been starting to try to repeat words a little bit more, with some more success, so maybe her behavior is related to her frustration.  Either way, whatever it is, let me tell you a super cute story that happened the other day:

On Sunday morning, the girls slept a little later than usual, more like 7:15 am.  We heard Kayla much more so than Zoey so Dave crept into their room and grabbed Kayla to let Zoey sleep a little longer, especially since she had woken up around 5 am for a few minutes.  Anyway, as soon as Dave brought Kayla into our room, she kept grunting and pointing towards the door.  Dave opened our door and let her walk and she walked right to her room.  She tried to open her door, but Dave grabbed her and brought her back to our room.  This happened another 2 times.  Finally, I said to just let Kayla go and let’s see what she does.  She literally ran to her room, opened her door and ran up to Zoey’s crib, where Zoey was still sleeping.  Kayla poked her hand through the bars in Zoey’s crib and started poking Zoey and hysterically laughing!  Of course this finally woke up Zoey who saw Kayla, gave the biggest smile and started waving at her!  Then, the 2 girls started trying to kiss each other through Zoey’s crib!  It was delicious!  This week’s a good week to have twins!!

New Years Resolution

Happy New Year!  I cannot believe its 2012!  As much as I wish I could start out this year on an optimistic and positive note, I kind of can’t.  Lately, Kayla is driving me nuts!  Literally, I feel like I could be going insane!  However, one of my New Year resolutions is to have more patience with Kayla.  In order to do that with her physically, I must blog right now about what is going on.  This way, hopefully I will actually have more patience with her when she wakes up from her nap!

I will start out by saying that when Kayla is in a good mood, she is ridiculously delicious!  I know I might be biased, but I genuinely think she is an absolutely fabulous little 16 month old.  But, I guess that’s just it…she’s still only 16 months old.  And, technically, since she was a preemie, she’s really only 14.5 months old.  But, still, I wish she would be happy all the time!  When she is “bad,” she is really bad!

Her newest thing is all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she will sprawl herself out on the floor, face down, and cry hysterically for what seems to me, to be for no reason.  I have tried everything in order to stop this from happening or at least help stop it while it is happening.  I’ve ignored her, I’ve picked her up, I’ve tried to get Zoey to make nice to her, but nothing seems to work.  She throws her fit and eventually it passes.

Now, of course, I have tried to rationalize this ridiculous behavior too!  So far I’ve come up with the following reasons as to why my amazingly fantastic child becomes the devil’s spawn every so often:

1.        She is getting a mouthful of teeth at the same time.  Now, I know this sounds like an excuse that every parent uses at some point, but I actually really think she’s getting a bunch of teeth at once.  And, that does not sound like fun!

2.       She is going through the terrible two’s and it is what it is

3.       She’s going through a growth spurt right now and could be in pain or is super hungry or super tired and this makes her super cranky

4.       She’s getting frustrated that she’s not really talking too much yet.  Kayla can communicate somewhat with her needs and desires, but Zoey is much more verbal and I’m thinking Kayla is getting very frustrated that I don’t know exactly what she wants or needs.  Sorry Kayla, but believe me, I wish you could just tell me what it is already too!!

5.       She’s still experiencing stranger anxiety and/or overstimulation.  I have noticed that she seems more comfortable in smaller areas with fewer toys, but the problem is, this theory doesn’t always hold true.  I’ve also noticed she’s more comfortable with moms and kids she knows, but again, this isn’t always the case.

So, whatever the reason is, I’m really hoping that within the first few weeks of 2012, Kayla and/or I figure it out and make it better.  I want this for my sake, for her sake and for Zoey’s sake.  Poor Zoey ends up taking heat from these tantrums as well.  In general, Zoey has always been a more mild-tempered, easy going person and I can’t blame her when she sees Kayla cry hysterically, get picked up and then want the same thing to happen to her!  But, I know I’m lucky that in general, Zoey is always pretty good!  Not to say that Kayla is bad, but let’s just call it more high maintenance!  I truly do love my girls equally, but I’m hoping things get a little easier soon!

Happy Holidays!

In general, my girls are pretty good.  They sleep well, they eat well and the play nicely.  But, as you know if you’ve been reading my blog, there are times they are not so good.  However, I have come to realize they are only “bad” for me.  With their babysitters they are always delicious!  And, especially, with their grandparents, they can never do anything wrong.  Now, I’m not that naive!  I know grandparents just can’t see anything wrong even if it is.  But, I’m telling you, my girls are complete angels with their grandparents.  In fact, the 3 times they have slept out at their grandparents’’ houses, they have eaten better meals than they ever have with me and they have slept longer than they ever have at my house.  Literally, I’m talking 13 hours of sleep, from 7pm-8am!  Why doesn’t that happen on a daily basis at home?  You know what?  I don’t need it to be an everyday thing.  I don’t want to sound unreasonable.  Instead, I have decided that the grandparents have to take the girls once a month, just to give me and Dave a break and to remind us why we love them so much.  Done and done – great idea Carrie, if I do say so myself.  Happy Hanukkah to me!  And happy holidays to everyone else too!  Thank you so much for all your support.  I’m hoping for great things for you and for my blog in 2012!!

Holiday Card Take Two!

So, its 9 pm and I just finished stamping and addressing our new year’s holiday card.  That’s right, I said holiday card.  I know 2 weeks ago I wrote how trying to get a picture of the girls together for a holiday card was impossible so I gave up.  But, then my husband decided yesterday that we should do a card because he wanted his work colleagues to have one.  Seriously Dave?  It’s already the end of December!  I would have had everything ready for this card at least 2 months ago when I originally tried to start planning it.  And now, after knowing me for over 13 years and how ridiculously organized I am, you ask me to do a card now?  Ridiculous!!  But, I did it!  One of my babysitters, who I’ve mentioned before, Emma, took some amazing pictures of the girls that I originally declined to use for a card because to be honest, I didn’t love the outfits they were in.  Like I’ve said before, one of my favorite parts about having my twin girls is dressing them!  Even when it seemed like I was in the twilight zone those first 4 months of their lives, getting them dressed was always my favorite part of every day.  So, therefore, their outfits were a major issue for the perfect holiday card picture.  But, to give Emma credit where credit is due, the pictures she took did come out beautiful!  So, yesterday I used one of her photos on a card that is for new years, made it on Kodak gallery, sent it to be picked up at Target today.  I then ordered a stamp for my return address because I didn’t have time to reorder my adorable return address labels with caricatures of the four of us.  I also ran to get stamps.  Today I went to pick up the cards which weren’t ready when I originally got to Target even though I had received an email saying they would be ready!  So, I went back a few hours later, picked them up with a 15% discount for being late and just finished putting them all together.  We kept it small this year because of the last minute decision so literally I am just sending a card out to Dave’s work people, our family and our closest of friends.  But, tomorrow morning I will put the cards in the mail and it will be done with!  I guess I can admit I’m happy we made the card, but next year I am definitely doing it my way, 2 months in advance, and hopefully with complete cooperation from my girls!  Yeah right, wishful thinking!  Happy, happy holidays everyone!!

Who's Your Best Friend?

I have to start out this week’s blog with a huge shout out to my other amazingly wonderful babysitter, Samantha!  She saved my sanity this weekend and I have to give her a big thank you!  Dave had to go to Florida for the weekend and while I’m used to taking care of the girls by myself all week, I desperately look forward to the weekends when not only do I have Dave’s help with the girls, but we get to be together as a family.  Unfortunately, he had to go this weekend and I knew I was going to be exhausted.  But, Samantha came to babysit for 2 hours Saturday morning and again 2 hours Sunday morning and it definitely made a difference in my surviving the weekend alone!  So, Samantha, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU!!  And for everyone else, if you can afford it, I highly recommend having a babysitter, even for just a few hours a week.  It really helps you as a mom replenish, have sometime for yourself and I think, be a better mom.

Anyway, onto this week’s big news…I LOVE having twins!  It’s getting so fun!  Of course it’s still ridiculously hard, but let me tell you what they do now that makes me just want to eat them up.  Ever since the girls were teeny tiny babies, I created a morning ritual where I would go into their room, sing a made-up good morning song, and then tell Zoey that Kayala is her best friend and tell Kayla that Zoey is her best friend.  I know there’s the natural twin bond, but I want to make sure the girls know that they come first for each other.  I think down the road, especially since girls can be so vicious to each other, Kayla and Zoey will be so thankful for each other.  I just figured I might as well reinforce that as early as possible!  Anyway, now when I say to Zoey, “Who’s your best friend?”  She immediately looks around, finds Kayla, points to her and says what kind of sounds like “Kayla.”  And when I ask Kayla, she also looks around, finds Zoey and points to her.  She kind of grunts rather than says Zoey’s name, but Zoey is definitely more verbal.  Either way, I know who she means.  And this is by far, the most delicious thing they have done so far!  It makes me think everyone should have twins!  And that’s all I have to say today! 

Similar Mannerisms

I think one of the most amazing things about having twins is that you get to watch two individual people grow up together and notice what kind of effects that has on each of them.  Now, granted, my girls are only 15 months old, which is still super young.  But, I have already started noticing some fascinating things about them.  Really, I’ve noticed one of the defining aspects of being related – similar mannerisms.  I’m sure there are things I do or say in a certain way that is “exactly how my mom does it.”  But, with twins, it just seems cooler when you see them doing things the same or doing things differently.  I feel like especially with fraternal twins, the things they do the same are incredible, since they really are supposed to be different!  Here is my list of things I’ve noticed so far that my girls do exactly the same.  And to be honest, as I’m writing this, while I think it’s cool, it’s pretty freaky too!

1.        Now that both girls are walking, I notice that they walk the same.  Both of their backs arch a little and they take the same size steps with each foot.  It’s actually hysterical!  Besides the fact that Kayla is a little slimmer than Zoey and her hair is lighter, from the back, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell who is who!

2.       I made it a point to introduce sippy cups very early.  As I’ve mentioned before, my girls hated their bottles.  And as tortuous as every feeding was, I tried to remember that bottles would not last forever.  However, cups and sipping through straws could.  So, I introduced cups super early and the girls got the hang of it pretty quickly if I do say so myself!  They totally hold their cups the same way with their fingers in the same place and make the same ridiculously adorable faces as they suck through their straws.  It looks like it takes so much effort for them to do it, while at the same time they’re having so much fun with it!  And, that expression is exactly the same on both of them!

3.       I also think I’ve mentioned that Kayla learned how to shake her head for “no.”  Of course as soon as she figured it out, everything became no.  And I shouldn’t be surprised that now Zoey has learned not only to shake her head for “no” but that it’s super fun to say no to everything!  And they both shake their heads the same, with the same speed and the same distance from side to side.  They even have the same smirk on their faces as they shake their heads and the same devilish gleam in their eyes, like they know I want them to say yes, but are refusing to do so!  As annoying as this game of “no” is getting, I have to admit when they do it together, it is freaking cute!

4.       Each of my girls sleeps with one of those animal blankies.  Zoey has piggy and Kayla has duckie.  They are both obsessed with their animals and the second we get into their room for naptime or bedtime, they each run to their cribs and reach for their blankies (I don’t let them have them outside of their bedroom).  Anyway, they both suck their thumbs (different thumbs though) while holding their blankies in the same exact way.  They also rotate their blankies in the same way until they find the tag and seem to prefer to hold onto that part while sucking their thumbs.  Again, I know I am in for a world of hurt from orthodontic bills because of the thumb sucking, but watching them snuggle up like that is just too delicious to care about!

So, those are the main mannerisms that I have noticed are similar.  Believe me; everything else about the girls is as different as can be!  At least, so far it is.  Now, I have to give credit where credit is due.  One of my friends in my development, Jen, asked me about similar mannerisms the other day while we were all hanging out for football Sunday.  I thought it was such a fabulous question and that’s what really made me start thinking about it.  Of course my other neighbor Scott had a snide comment, like, “Why don’t you blog about it?”  I think he might have been making fun of me a little, but thank you Scott!  I actually totally like this blog so there (I’m sticking my tongue out at you!).  Seriously, Jen and Scott, thanks for the idea! 

Holiday Cards

So, it’s officially after Thanksgiving, into December, which means its’ the holiday season.  That also means many people are ordering and mailing out their holiday cards to friends and family very soon.  Last year, when the girls were 3.5 months old, we did our first holiday card ever and it was adorable!  I had a fabulous picture of the girls lying down on a blanket looking at each other in these super cute Burberry-like shirts.  I loved it!  It was so much fun taking the picture, ordering the card, getting personalized return address labels, etc.  This year, though, it is a completely different story…

Getting a picture for this year’s holiday card has become the bane of my existence.  Literally, since October 1, I have been desperately trying to get a great picture of the girls together.  I started out trying to get them both looking at me smiling, but trying to get two 13-15 month olds to both look at me and smile seems to be all but impossible!  Then I figured I’d settle for a picture of both of them looking at each other like last year’s card.  However, Kayla has decided to “run” away from the camera the second I take it out.  I used to try to get them to say cheese, but now I sneak a camera out as if I’m in mission impossible and try to snap pictures without the girls totally realizing what I’m doing.  But, that doesn’t seem to be working either.  I have even employed my fabulous babysitter, Emma, to try to take some pictures for us.  Every Tuesday I remind her to use my camera or her phone and try to get a decent picture.  Last week she happened to have taken some great pictures of the girls outside, but none of them felt like holiday card material.  And, now that Zoey is walking too, it has apparently become a game for my girls to run in opposite directions, away from me, the second the camera comes out.  Zoey’s much better about looking at the camera and smiling, but she tends to laugh at Kayla and then follow her lead, just run the other way.  Kayla has some kind of sixth sense as to when I’m even thinking of taking a picture!  You can see on her face that she’s getting ready to run before the camera is even in my hand!

So, it is with great regret that I have decided NOT to do a holiday card this year.  It’s just not fun anymore!  I told one of my playgroups the news yesterday and they did not take it well!  In fact, Ali tried to prove me a wrong and take pictures of the girls.  I hate to say, “I told you so,” but I totally told her so!  Zoey sat in a chair and the second Kayla saw the camera she started hysterically crying and going limp in the chair!  Me, Jamie, Charlene and Ali all started singing, trying to get Kayla to smile for the camera, and I have to hand it to Zoey, she looked adorable, but Kayla would not stop crying!  It reminded me of the professional pictures I had taken of the girls at their first year birthday.  We had 100 gorgeous pictures of Zoey smiling and laughing, posing for the camera.  We had zero pictures of the girls together, one pretty picture of Kayla but she’s not smiling and then another picture of Kayla in hysterics because that just summed up the experience! 

Anyway, Ali, thanks so much for the effort, but I am NOT doing a holiday card this year.  And really, all I want for the holidays this year is for my girls to start letting me take pictures of them together again!  Well, that’s one thing I want, but I actually have a huge list of other things too!  Either way, I hope everyone is starting o enjoy this holiday season!

A Cousins Sleepover

Hey everyone!  I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving!  We had a great holiday at my sister-in-law’s house, although Kayla threw a fit and refused to eat dinner at the table.  But, besides that, it was fabulous!  However, the most fun part of the holiday weekend came the next night, Friday night…

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law and my husband and I have always exchanged wedding anniversary gifts with each other.  This year, my husband had a great idea!  Instead of getting each other gifts, from now on we would take each other’s kids for a sleepover and a free night out!  So, my sister and brother-in-law’s anniversary was October 27 and we decided to take our 6 year old nephew and 3 year old niece for a sleepover at our house with the girls Friday night of Thanksgiving weekend.

The kids came over around 5pm and we fed everyone dinner.  Then we played in our basement and when it was time for the girls to get their bath and go to bed, we set up our niece and nephew with a TV show.  Once the girls were sleeping, we played the WII and around 8:30 our niece actually begged to go to sleep because she was so exhausted!  The kids came in our room a few times after we put them to bed before they actually went to sleep with some very funny excuses.  For example, the first time they came in, literally 2 minutes after we read books and said good-night, they said they had bad dreams.  Dave and I were like, “You couldn’t have had bad dreams, you didn’t even sleep yet!”  Then they fought over a stuffed animal, complained they were making mean faces at each other (which of course they wouldn’t know if their eyes were closed and they were really trying to go to sleep), but finally everyone was asleep by 10pm.  Dave and I looked at each other and both agreed it was a super fun night and relatively easy.   Then, everyone woke up on Saturday!

Oh my Gd, how do people have 4 kids?!  Everyone woke up at 6:30 am which is typical for us anyway.  But, there’s definitely as big difference between 2 kids and 4 kids!  Everyone was great, but my 6 year old nephew was not super into playing with the baby girly toys we have in our basement.  Our 3 year old niece was a little easier to please with the girls’ toys, but everyone always wanted to do something different!  My sister-in-law came to pick up the kids at 10 am and I felt like I had had a 12 hour day already!  Everyone was very delicious and fun, but it was exhausting!  People give me a lot of credit for having twins, but I have to give credit to anyone with more than 2 kids!

Now, I will definitely have my niece and nephew sleepover again for sure, as often as they want to.  I really did love having them here and I know as the girls get older and closer to their cousins it will be even more fun!  But, before the sleepover, Dave was kind of considering having more kids.  I think after the sleepover, we’re on the same page – 2 are more than enough!!

Zoey's walking!!!!!

Oh my God, Zoey’s walking!!!!!!

Finally, after taking her first steps about a month and a half ago, and after miles and miles of walking holding onto my pinky finger, this weekend Zoey started walking all by herself!  I am so ridiculously proud of her and so relieved she made it!  I feel like having preemies makes you a little wary of developmental milestones.  And, while Kayla has hit every one of them on time, I’m always a little more worried about Zoey.  I shouldn’t be because she has hit every milestone also, just about a month-6 weeks behind Kayla.  And walking was no different.  She literally started walking 5 weeks after Kayla!

Now, the fun really begins.  Zoey is definitely still looking like a drunken sailor with her steps, but she keeps taking more and more on her own.  I think once she’s a little steadier on her feet, things will get interesting.  I will have 2 walking babies!!  Of course I am super naive and I’m expecting that they will always go in the same direction with each other and listen to me when I ask them to come to me.  I’m sure I am in for a huge reality check!  My guess is my girls will be constantly going in opposite directions.  At least I’m going to get skinny running after them! 

I know this blog is a little short, but I just wanted to share the fabulous news about Zoey with everyone.  And Kayla’s still delicious too!  Oh, but before I sign off this week, I highly recommend everyone check out a friend of a friend’s amazing blog: www.playingmom.com  Dani, the blogger, just won a cool award and gave me a shout out which I so appreciate it!  And her blog is awesome!!  Anyway, happy thanksgiving everyone and I’ll write again after the holiday.

Bad days are really bad!

                Before I start venting this week, I need to give a shout out.  My close friend Sean reminded me that I forgot to put a very important fact on my lists of why twins could be better or harder, and this one counts for both.  At birthday [parties, especially at this age when the girls are too young to totally appreciate it, I get 2 pieces of cake or 2 cupcakes, 2 of whatever dessert is being served.  This is fabulous for me and my husband because we each get the yummy treats.  But, it could also be bad when I’m trying to lose my baby weight!  So, Sean, excellent point, I’m just not sure if it belongs in my “better” list or my “harder” list!  Either, way I will admit I have been enjoying this little twins perk lately!

                Onto this week.  I have been having a few bad days lately.  I could blame it on teething because I really do think both of my girls are getting entire mouths of teeth right now.  Or, I could blame it on the weird weather – first it’s winter-like, then it almost feels like summer.  Maybe for Zoey, she’s frustrated that she’s still not walking on her own.  Wait, is she frustrated, or am I just frustrated?  Probably both of us!  But, in general, I think it’s just the life of having babies.  And, it doesn’t matter if you have 1 baby, twins or 10 babies at the same time, there are just going to be bad days and I think it’s important for all us parents out there to remember that.  We’re human and sometimes we still wish we could just snuggle up in bed and do nothing, even though we’re supposed to be adults now.  This is what’s been happening:

                On Monday I had a playgroup in my development with my fabulous mommy friends and everything started out great.  The girls were playing in the basement, laughing hysterically at the singing Mickey Mouse doll (which is now on their long Hanukkah list) and having a lot of fun with their friends.  We went upstairs to the kitchen to eat lunch and I think what happened next is partially my fault.  I didn’t feel like dragging my 2 booster seats with me so I tried to feed the girls their pizza with them sitting on the floor.  Big mistake!  Kayla was walking all over the place and wouldn’t sit still and then Zoey was crawling and following her.  I eventually gave up and tried to put them in a high chair and a booster seat and Zoey started screaming bloody murder!  Literally, I have rarely seen her get like this.  So, I picked her up and of course, the second Kayla saw me do that, she started crying hysterically.  While my friends were trying to help, it got so bad, I actually had to leave.  I couldn’t believe the fit they were throwing, bad enough that I actually left, which I can’t remember ever having to do even when the girls were young and had reflux and could be so difficult at times!  I was so upset!

                Then, on Tuesday, I met a mommy friend for lunch and we went to my favorite place, The Mixed Grill, in Plainview (I am literally there at least twice a week!)  Kayla’s new thing is she likes to wiggle her way out of the high chair and stand up.  She kept doing it so I took her out and what do you know?  As soon as I lifted her up, all Zoey could do was say, “Up, up” and point her hands to the sky.  I gave in and took her out and found, myself sitting on the floor of the restaurant trying to contain my 2 girls.  Not fun! 

                Then, this morning, I took the girls on a walk and after about 20 minutes in their stroller, they started getting a little antsy.  I took them out and we walked up and down the sidewalks in my development.  Well, Kayla walked and Zoey walked with me holding 1 of my fingers.  I was ready to bring them inside and I said to Kayla, “Kayla, come inside with Mommy and Zoey.”  She looked at me, shook her head no, and proceeded to walk in the other direction.  I tried again and the same thing happened.  I was floored!  I’m proud of her that she understands me and can respond to me, but shaking her head no is definitely the wrong response!  Needless to say, after the last few days, I think I need a drink, or maybe 10!

                But, I do have to remind myself that as many bad days as I have with my girls, the good days do tend to outweigh the bad.  They are just very delicious right now and learning so much every second.  For the most part, I can’t stand to be away from them for too long.  I can just eat them up.  But, not today.  Maybe tomorrow and I just have to remind myself that it’s okay to feel this way!  Thanks for listening!

Why 2 Might Not be Better Than 1!

As promised, here is my list of why having twins is so much harder than having 1 baby at a time:

1.        There are 2 of them!  Plain and simple, there are 2 babies at the same time, who can’t do anything for themselves!

2.       As a first time mom, who decided to stay at home while my husband went to work every day, I was outnumbered from day 1.  Thank God I have 2 arms, 1 for each baby!  But, to be honest, before the girls could hold their own heads up, 2 arms weren’t all that helpful!  I seriously do not understand how moms of triplets do it! 

3.       Along the same theme that there are 2 babies, there’s also double of everything.  Double the poop, double the spit up, double the diaper changes, double the bottles, double the formula, etc. You get the picture!

4.       Double everything also means double your time to do things too.  In other words, especially in the beginning, everything was always a race against the clock.   If both babies were sleeping I was racing to pay the bills before someone woke up.  Or, if it was time to eat and 1 baby was calm, I was racing through the first feeding so that I would get to the next feeding before she threw a crying and screaming fit!  There just never seems to be enough time with 2 babies!

5.       Let’s talk about crying.  One baby crying can be so sad or so annoying, depending on the situation!  But, imagine having 2 babies screaming their heads off at the same time.  Or sometimes, even worse, 1 baby screaming her head off and just as you calm her down, the next one starts screaming her head off.  It can get pretty horrible and can make you seriously doubt yourself as a mother.  It can feel impossible to be able to soothe both of your babies.

6.       Another reason twins are harder is the schedule.  I think the #1 piece of advice I got when I was pregnant with twins was that as soon as they’re born I needed to put them on the same schedule.  As I’ve mentioned before, that was actually one of the advantages of having the girls in the NICU because they really took care of that for me.  Once I had the girls home, I just had to keep it going.  But, that’s a lot easier to say than to actually do!  I think I got very lucky that my girls, on their own really, went down to nap or sleep at the same time.  I made sure to feed them at the same time, or 1 right after the other, even if someone didn’t eat that much at a feeding.  And while I agree it is the most important thing about having twins, it’s hard to do!

7.       When you have a baby and make mommy friends, everyone talks about their babies.  It gets very hard not to compare your baby to everyone else’s.  Who’s doing what first or for how long, etc.  I think I got pretty good at ignoring that since I had 2 babies and they were preemies.  I just kept reminding myself I was in a totally different situation.  But, I have found it impossible not to compare my girls to each other.  After all, I live with both of them in the same house 24/7.  When 1 girl does something, I’m excited, but just waiting for her sister to do it!  It can make appreciating some of the milestones a little difficult!  But, I know, especially as the girls get older, I want each one to be her own person.  I have to stop with the comparing as soon as they’re both walking and talking.  At least I hope I can!

8.       As happy and excited as I get when the girls reach a milestone, some milestones make things more difficult.  I couldn’t wait for the girls to start moving!  It definitely made them happier.  But, then I had 2 babies crawling in opposite directions!  Let’s just say I haven’t been bored in over 14 months!  But, at the same time, I love every day they get bigger and better!  In fact, now that Kayla’s walking, I can’t wait for Zoey to do it too.  I do know that some of my twin mommy friends have found it much harder for a while though.

9.       Just like with any siblings, typically, when one of my girls gets sick, it’s just a matter of time until the other 1 gets it.  What makes this harder, especially at this stage, is that they can’t tell me what’s wrong or what would make them feel better.  I just have 2 sick babies who want all my love and attention and I end up feeling very inadequate that I can’t fully provide enough for either one of them.  Being sick sucks and it definitely sucks even more with twins!

10.   To sum it up, the most difficult part of having twins is THERE ARE 2 OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!  Just imagine anything you go through with one baby and double it!

Well, that’s my list for now.  And I must say, I am pleasantly surprised that I only have 3 extra items than my “good list.”  I guess that just goes to show that as impossible as having twins may seem at times, it really is the best thing that has ever happened to me (besides meeting and marrying my husband!).  I really wouldn’t change it for anything.  I don’t think I’d want to do it again, but I am so happy and so proud to be a mommy of twins!   

Why 2 is really better than 1

Lately, my girls have been absolutely delicious!  And to celebrate that I am writing the reasons why having twins is so much better than having 1 baby at a time:

1.        You only have to have 1 birthday party per year

2.       When you’re in a store and you just can’t decide between 2 of the most adorable outfits, just buy them both!  You have 2 babies who need to be dressed so just go for it!

3.       If you were planning on just having 2 kids, and you have twins, you never have to think about it again.  No more pregnancy, no more baby stage, no more spit up or poop diapers.  You’re done! 

4.       When you have twins, a very special bond forms between you and other multiples of twins.  One of my closest friends now who is probably one of the only people who truly understands what I’m going through is my twins friend.  Even though she’s back at work now and I’m still home with the girls, we can relate to each other in a way our families and our other friends just can’t.  It’s amazing!

5.       If you like being the center of attention, having twins is for you!  You will get stopped everywhere you go.  Literally, I cannot walk down the mall without being stopped a bunch of times for people to marvel at the girls or tell me about someone in their family who has twins.  Again, this refers to number 4 on my list, there’s a special bond between people that have twins, even among strangers!

6.       There are very cute things to use to decorate when you have twins.  For example, my husband just bought me a decal for my car that is a picture of twin girls and says “Got Twins.”  We also saw online a sign to hang in their room that says, “Born together, friends forever.”  I have a picture frame with the saying, “Two peas in a pod” and it’s the cutest frame I own!

7.       I think the best part of having twins, especially same sex twins, is that they have an instant best friend.  Even at just 14 months old, you can see how much my girls love each other.  They look for each other, they cuddle with each other, and they play peek-a-boo with each other.  And from what I hear, it only gets better as they get older.  Of course, they’ll fight, but the always have that 1 person they can depend on.  They always have a playdate, someone to do anything with.  They always have someone to laugh with, cry to and spend life with, in a way I don’t think anyone but twins can truly understand. 

Okay, so here’s my list so far.  Hopefully I’ll add to it as the girls keep growing.  Stay tuned for my next blog which will be my list about why having twins is so much harder than having 1 baby at a time.  I think that list might be a little longer!!

We have a walker!

Oh my God, Kayla is walking!! 

About 3 weeks ago, she took her first steps.  I was at my sister-in-law’s house, in her newly finished basement and Kayla stood up on her own which she had been doing for a while.  Jaimie said, “Kayla, come to Aunt Jaimie.”  Kayla looked at her, looked at me and fully took 3 steps to her Aunt Jaimie!  It was amazing!  Ever since then, she would take a few steps here or there, but not really take off.  I went to this fabulous baby and kid shoe store and would ask every day if I should get her real walking shoes yet, but the answer was always, “No!”  I was told to wait until she was taking 7-10 steps consistently.  So I waited. And waited. And waited.

In the meantime, because my sister-in-law is my best friend, we do a lot of things together.  Since she was finishing her basement, I decided it was time to finish my basement.  Of course, we used the same company and as soon as they were ready they started my basement.  The only problem with that was that now I was pretty much stuck upstairs in the girls’ room with them any time we were home.  Their room is super nice, but kind of small, especially with 2 cribs in it.  So, this left little room for Kayla to really practice her walking.

But, finally, my basement was finished this weekend, and Kayla literally took off!  She walked across the whole room, multiple times, smiling and laughing the whole time!  She is so proud of herself!  And, she’s walked out in public too!  It’s ridiculously adorable!  And, it makes me feel like she’s not such a baby anymore!  She’s really getting to be a big girl!  And here, I remember being so nervous that as preemies; the girls would be delayed with everything.  But, at 13.5 months I fully have a walker! 

Zoey, on the other hand, is not there yet.  She’s been about a month behind Kayla with most developmental milestones.  And she did take her first few steps alone with me and her babysitter, who is like part of my family at this point.  Literally she is amazing!  She even bought the girls their first pairs of Uggs – Emma’s the best!  Anyway, now, Zoey won’t let go of my fingers when she walks.  She wants to walk constantly, especially when she sees Kayla walking.  But, she won’t let go again, at least not yet.  We’ll see when she gets brave enough….That should be a whole new adventure!    

The Diner

Most of what I’ve been blogging about has to do with being a mom of twins, but I hope anyone out there can relate!  My next story proves that while 2 babies seem impossible, things can be quite difficult with just 1 baby too!

I went out to lunch with one of my fabulous new mommy friends and we decided to go to a diner.  What I’ve noticed is that many diners have sassy seats instead of high chairs.  For those of you who don’t know, a sassy seat is a seat that literally attaches to the table.  It is actually pretty useful and takes up less space than a highchair I think.  When I first used them, I was impressed.  But, I waited until the girls were relatively big and could really sit up well in the highchair.

Anyway, my friend and I sat at a table and had 3 sassy seats, one for her son and 2 for my girls.  The meal was great, we had a fabulous time talking and all 3 kids were really very well behaved.  As we were getting ready to go, I took the girls out of their seats and I put Zoey on the floor and was holding Kayla.  My friend unbuckled her son, turned to her bag for a second, and by the time she turned back, noticed her son had slipped down the sassy seat and was basically dangling on the seat towards the floor underneath our table.  I threw Kayla on the floor and went under the table to grab him and pull him down to safety while my friend remained very calm above the table.  But, just when I thought I had him, his head got stuck between the table and the seat and he started crying.  My friend shouted, “Push him back up, push him back up!”  So, I started pushing his butt back up so that my friend could grab him that way.  Finally, a waiter came over and released the seat so that we pushed it back and got her son up.  He was a champ, cried a little and then was totally fine!  The two of us stared at each other and then started cracking up!  In the meantime my girls were both standing on her stroller, trying to climb their way into it.  Needless to say, it was quite an adventurous trip to the diner!  My friend kept saying she was the worst mom and I said, “Are you kidding?  You handled them beautifully!”  Besides, she read my last entry and knew I’ve done worse!  Like I said before, the point is 1 baby, 2 babies, 10 babies – something can always go wrong!  But, if you stay as calm as you can and know things will be fine, your baby or babies will hopefully stay calm too!

So, it feels like I’ve caught you guys up on the first year of life as a mom of twins.  Going forward, I’ll blog at least once a week, but mostly when something happens or I think of something to tell you!  Again, please don’t hesitate to contact me with any specific questions, concerns or comments.  I really appreciate all the support and look forward to see where twinsplicity will go next.  Stay tuned….

"Firsts"

So, in the last year there have been some amazing “firsts” and some not so amazing “firsts!”  Some of the best and worst moments have definitely been when one or both of my girls did something for the first time.  Let’s talk about the good ones first…

While I don’t remember the exact moment as well as I wish I did, the first time the girls smiled and I didn’t think it was gas was a heart melter for sure!  But, the 2 “firsts” that were the biggest life changers for me were the first time they both slept through the night and the first time they both sat up by themselves.  As for sleeping, I think it’s pretty obvious as to why that made a HUGE difference in my life (and my husband’s!).  When we woke up the next morning, we both looked at each other and asked if the other one had heard anything?  We just couldn’t believe they actually slept.  Of course, then all I could think about that day was if they would do it again that night!  And they did!  At about 5.5 months, I had 2 babies that slept 12 hours and continue to today (I’m knocking on wood as I type this because I don’t want to jinx anything.  I have 2 amazing sleepers and I don’t think I could handle it if that changed!).

Sitting up made a big difference for a few reasons.  First of all, once the girls sat up both of them seemed to be relieved of their reflux symptoms.  They were spitting up less, which meant not only were they happier, but I could actually wear some of my nice clothes I had been dying to fit back into without the worry of smelling like cheese!  And, the sitting up just made everything better!  The girls could be entertained for longer periods of time sitting up and playing with toys.  I think this is also when they kind of started interacting with each other a little bit.  Kayla would have a toy and Zoey would reach over for it.  It was amazing to see them together – 2 babies sitting up and playing is truly indicative of the saying “2 is better than 1!”  This is when I started believing that!!

Unfortunately, along with these wonderful moments, there were some scary “firsts” too.  As I mentioned in my last blog, my mommy friends have saved me over this last year.  They also helped give me the confidence that I can totally manage 2 babies.  Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that I definitely have my limitations as a mother of twins.   Let me explain, but please do not think I’m a bad mother!

During the summer, I had a playgroup on Fridays at my pool in my development.  A bunch of us got together with the babies to swim and eat lunch.  My pool has a baby pool which made it manageable for me to attend with the girls.  And of course, my friends were always ready to help if I needed it.  Anyway, 1 Friday only my friend Carrie and I could make it so we met at the pool as usual, played, had lunch and went back in the pool.  As we were getting ready to get out, I grabbed Kayla and then went to pick Zoey up at the same time to step out of the baby pool.  I must have stepped on something as I started getting up and Zoey literally fell out of my arms.  She flipped in the air and landed face down in the pool.  Carrie grabbed Kayla from me and I grabbed Zoey who cried (thank G-d that meant she was breathing) and I have to say, calmed down pretty quickly.  I, on the other hand, thought I had just killed my baby and started freaking out a little!  In the meantime, Carrie’s daughter Ava was playing and was totally fine.  Carrie was amazing – she kept me calm, helped me get both girls out of the pool and tried to make me laugh about it.  I wasn’t totally there yet, but everyone seemed okay.  I brought the girls home, called Dave to tell him what I did and watched Zoey like a hawk the rest of the day.  Of course Carrie checked in and everything seemed fine.  That night Zoey had a bath and seemed perfectly content in the water. (As a former lifeguard and swim instructor I was scared she would now be scared of the water.)  The next day Dave and I took the girls back to the pool and Zoey was amazing in the water!  She was splashing and laughing and actually stretching out her arms and legs to “swim.”  So, while the first time I thought I killed my kid was scary, if Zoey becomes an Olympic swimmer in her future, I would like a little credit for getting her used to the pool (in an unconventional way that I do not recommend)!!

Making Mommy Friends

If you can stay home with your baby or babies, I highly recommend making mommy friends!  Join classes or groups, do whatever you have to do, but find people you connect with that you can go on this journey with.  These friends should be people you can laugh with, cry to, complain to and have fun with!  I think besides getting yourself out of the house to stay sane, you also need some comrades going through similar situations with you to stay sane as well.  But, please, please, please, try not to compare your babies to each other.  You’ll do it anyway, no matter what I say, but try to understand that every baby is different and just because a friend’s baby sits up first, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your baby.

Anyway, the year I was trying to get pregnant and going through fertility treatments, a bunch of my friends got pregnant.  Honestly, my first reaction was always that I was so happy for them and I made sure they knew it!  But, of course, in private with Dave, I would be a little sad for myself and for us and wonder when it would be our turn.  But, when it finally became our turn, the good news was that we already had a bunch of our closest friends who would have babies in the same school grade together!  In fact, 2 of my best friends and I had our babies within 2 weeks of each other and my oldest friend in the world had her baby a little more than a month later!  This all sounded fabulous except for the fact that all these girls were going back to work after 3 months or lived in Manhattan while I had moved out to Long Island.  So, I needed some new mommy friends!

Living in a development was the best thing for me because without even trying, I constantly met young moms with kids.  In fact, 3 of the friends I had already made in the development, pre-preggers, all had babies in the same grade.  They introduced me to some of their friends with babies the same age and once my girls were born, instant playgroup!  All of these friends were on their second or third child at this point and that was amazing for me – they definitely helped keep me more than sane through those first 4 months, have now seen me at my best and my worst, and still want to hang out with me!  While all of these moms have 1 baby at a time, they helped me to relax about a lot of things and pushed me to try things with the girls, like real food and high chairs, before I thought I was ready for it!  I cannot thank them enough for the friendships we now share and I know we will be friends for a long time to come!

I also joined a group on Long Island, called Mingling Moms.  Four luncheons were set up for us with guest speakers and there, I met some wonderful “first time mommy friends!”  These women were in the same boat as me, having their first baby and live close by to me, but no one had twins.  That was okay though, because we all still understood the sleepless nights together and again, they have seen me at my best and worst and I also have them to thank for my sanity!  We made playgroups together, have taken music classes together and are about to start our first Mommy and Me class this week, which I am so excited for!  With this amazing group of women, as well as my “second time mommy friends,” Dave and I have found a wonderful social life that has helped me make it through a year with twins (Dave likes their husbands so we have all gotten together as families and as couples many time and I love them!!).

However, I also would not have made it through without my twins mom friend!  I joined the Mother of Twins Club on Long Island and definitely felt supported through the online forums.  I attended a few functions, like the Annual Fashion Show, but the best thing to come out of the club is the friendship I made with another mom of twins!  While all my other mommy friends are phenomenal, this friend really understands what I went through and what I will continue to go through with 2 babies at the same time!  We have very similar stories and we both have fraternal girls that are 3 months apart.  We met on a blind internet date sort of that my other mommy friends thought I was crazy for doing!  In the twins club, I decided to organize a playgroup for twins around the same age and though it would be a good idea to invite total strangers with their twins into my house.  A few people said they would come, but cancelled last minute except for this mom.  Luckily, she was not a serial killer, and we have formed a wonderful friendship that I hope will continue in the years to come. 

I really do have to thank all of the amazing friends I have made over the last year.  Like I said, you have truly helped keep me sane and have proved to me that I can do it!  THANK YOU!!