We have a walker!

Oh my God, Kayla is walking!! 

About 3 weeks ago, she took her first steps.  I was at my sister-in-law’s house, in her newly finished basement and Kayla stood up on her own which she had been doing for a while.  Jaimie said, “Kayla, come to Aunt Jaimie.”  Kayla looked at her, looked at me and fully took 3 steps to her Aunt Jaimie!  It was amazing!  Ever since then, she would take a few steps here or there, but not really take off.  I went to this fabulous baby and kid shoe store and would ask every day if I should get her real walking shoes yet, but the answer was always, “No!”  I was told to wait until she was taking 7-10 steps consistently.  So I waited. And waited. And waited.

In the meantime, because my sister-in-law is my best friend, we do a lot of things together.  Since she was finishing her basement, I decided it was time to finish my basement.  Of course, we used the same company and as soon as they were ready they started my basement.  The only problem with that was that now I was pretty much stuck upstairs in the girls’ room with them any time we were home.  Their room is super nice, but kind of small, especially with 2 cribs in it.  So, this left little room for Kayla to really practice her walking.

But, finally, my basement was finished this weekend, and Kayla literally took off!  She walked across the whole room, multiple times, smiling and laughing the whole time!  She is so proud of herself!  And, she’s walked out in public too!  It’s ridiculously adorable!  And, it makes me feel like she’s not such a baby anymore!  She’s really getting to be a big girl!  And here, I remember being so nervous that as preemies; the girls would be delayed with everything.  But, at 13.5 months I fully have a walker! 

Zoey, on the other hand, is not there yet.  She’s been about a month behind Kayla with most developmental milestones.  And she did take her first few steps alone with me and her babysitter, who is like part of my family at this point.  Literally she is amazing!  She even bought the girls their first pairs of Uggs – Emma’s the best!  Anyway, now, Zoey won’t let go of my fingers when she walks.  She wants to walk constantly, especially when she sees Kayla walking.  But, she won’t let go again, at least not yet.  We’ll see when she gets brave enough….That should be a whole new adventure!    

The Diner

Most of what I’ve been blogging about has to do with being a mom of twins, but I hope anyone out there can relate!  My next story proves that while 2 babies seem impossible, things can be quite difficult with just 1 baby too!

I went out to lunch with one of my fabulous new mommy friends and we decided to go to a diner.  What I’ve noticed is that many diners have sassy seats instead of high chairs.  For those of you who don’t know, a sassy seat is a seat that literally attaches to the table.  It is actually pretty useful and takes up less space than a highchair I think.  When I first used them, I was impressed.  But, I waited until the girls were relatively big and could really sit up well in the highchair.

Anyway, my friend and I sat at a table and had 3 sassy seats, one for her son and 2 for my girls.  The meal was great, we had a fabulous time talking and all 3 kids were really very well behaved.  As we were getting ready to go, I took the girls out of their seats and I put Zoey on the floor and was holding Kayla.  My friend unbuckled her son, turned to her bag for a second, and by the time she turned back, noticed her son had slipped down the sassy seat and was basically dangling on the seat towards the floor underneath our table.  I threw Kayla on the floor and went under the table to grab him and pull him down to safety while my friend remained very calm above the table.  But, just when I thought I had him, his head got stuck between the table and the seat and he started crying.  My friend shouted, “Push him back up, push him back up!”  So, I started pushing his butt back up so that my friend could grab him that way.  Finally, a waiter came over and released the seat so that we pushed it back and got her son up.  He was a champ, cried a little and then was totally fine!  The two of us stared at each other and then started cracking up!  In the meantime my girls were both standing on her stroller, trying to climb their way into it.  Needless to say, it was quite an adventurous trip to the diner!  My friend kept saying she was the worst mom and I said, “Are you kidding?  You handled them beautifully!”  Besides, she read my last entry and knew I’ve done worse!  Like I said before, the point is 1 baby, 2 babies, 10 babies – something can always go wrong!  But, if you stay as calm as you can and know things will be fine, your baby or babies will hopefully stay calm too!

So, it feels like I’ve caught you guys up on the first year of life as a mom of twins.  Going forward, I’ll blog at least once a week, but mostly when something happens or I think of something to tell you!  Again, please don’t hesitate to contact me with any specific questions, concerns or comments.  I really appreciate all the support and look forward to see where twinsplicity will go next.  Stay tuned….

"Firsts"

So, in the last year there have been some amazing “firsts” and some not so amazing “firsts!”  Some of the best and worst moments have definitely been when one or both of my girls did something for the first time.  Let’s talk about the good ones first…

While I don’t remember the exact moment as well as I wish I did, the first time the girls smiled and I didn’t think it was gas was a heart melter for sure!  But, the 2 “firsts” that were the biggest life changers for me were the first time they both slept through the night and the first time they both sat up by themselves.  As for sleeping, I think it’s pretty obvious as to why that made a HUGE difference in my life (and my husband’s!).  When we woke up the next morning, we both looked at each other and asked if the other one had heard anything?  We just couldn’t believe they actually slept.  Of course, then all I could think about that day was if they would do it again that night!  And they did!  At about 5.5 months, I had 2 babies that slept 12 hours and continue to today (I’m knocking on wood as I type this because I don’t want to jinx anything.  I have 2 amazing sleepers and I don’t think I could handle it if that changed!).

Sitting up made a big difference for a few reasons.  First of all, once the girls sat up both of them seemed to be relieved of their reflux symptoms.  They were spitting up less, which meant not only were they happier, but I could actually wear some of my nice clothes I had been dying to fit back into without the worry of smelling like cheese!  And, the sitting up just made everything better!  The girls could be entertained for longer periods of time sitting up and playing with toys.  I think this is also when they kind of started interacting with each other a little bit.  Kayla would have a toy and Zoey would reach over for it.  It was amazing to see them together – 2 babies sitting up and playing is truly indicative of the saying “2 is better than 1!”  This is when I started believing that!!

Unfortunately, along with these wonderful moments, there were some scary “firsts” too.  As I mentioned in my last blog, my mommy friends have saved me over this last year.  They also helped give me the confidence that I can totally manage 2 babies.  Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that I definitely have my limitations as a mother of twins.   Let me explain, but please do not think I’m a bad mother!

During the summer, I had a playgroup on Fridays at my pool in my development.  A bunch of us got together with the babies to swim and eat lunch.  My pool has a baby pool which made it manageable for me to attend with the girls.  And of course, my friends were always ready to help if I needed it.  Anyway, 1 Friday only my friend Carrie and I could make it so we met at the pool as usual, played, had lunch and went back in the pool.  As we were getting ready to get out, I grabbed Kayla and then went to pick Zoey up at the same time to step out of the baby pool.  I must have stepped on something as I started getting up and Zoey literally fell out of my arms.  She flipped in the air and landed face down in the pool.  Carrie grabbed Kayla from me and I grabbed Zoey who cried (thank G-d that meant she was breathing) and I have to say, calmed down pretty quickly.  I, on the other hand, thought I had just killed my baby and started freaking out a little!  In the meantime, Carrie’s daughter Ava was playing and was totally fine.  Carrie was amazing – she kept me calm, helped me get both girls out of the pool and tried to make me laugh about it.  I wasn’t totally there yet, but everyone seemed okay.  I brought the girls home, called Dave to tell him what I did and watched Zoey like a hawk the rest of the day.  Of course Carrie checked in and everything seemed fine.  That night Zoey had a bath and seemed perfectly content in the water. (As a former lifeguard and swim instructor I was scared she would now be scared of the water.)  The next day Dave and I took the girls back to the pool and Zoey was amazing in the water!  She was splashing and laughing and actually stretching out her arms and legs to “swim.”  So, while the first time I thought I killed my kid was scary, if Zoey becomes an Olympic swimmer in her future, I would like a little credit for getting her used to the pool (in an unconventional way that I do not recommend)!!

Making Mommy Friends

If you can stay home with your baby or babies, I highly recommend making mommy friends!  Join classes or groups, do whatever you have to do, but find people you connect with that you can go on this journey with.  These friends should be people you can laugh with, cry to, complain to and have fun with!  I think besides getting yourself out of the house to stay sane, you also need some comrades going through similar situations with you to stay sane as well.  But, please, please, please, try not to compare your babies to each other.  You’ll do it anyway, no matter what I say, but try to understand that every baby is different and just because a friend’s baby sits up first, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your baby.

Anyway, the year I was trying to get pregnant and going through fertility treatments, a bunch of my friends got pregnant.  Honestly, my first reaction was always that I was so happy for them and I made sure they knew it!  But, of course, in private with Dave, I would be a little sad for myself and for us and wonder when it would be our turn.  But, when it finally became our turn, the good news was that we already had a bunch of our closest friends who would have babies in the same school grade together!  In fact, 2 of my best friends and I had our babies within 2 weeks of each other and my oldest friend in the world had her baby a little more than a month later!  This all sounded fabulous except for the fact that all these girls were going back to work after 3 months or lived in Manhattan while I had moved out to Long Island.  So, I needed some new mommy friends!

Living in a development was the best thing for me because without even trying, I constantly met young moms with kids.  In fact, 3 of the friends I had already made in the development, pre-preggers, all had babies in the same grade.  They introduced me to some of their friends with babies the same age and once my girls were born, instant playgroup!  All of these friends were on their second or third child at this point and that was amazing for me – they definitely helped keep me more than sane through those first 4 months, have now seen me at my best and my worst, and still want to hang out with me!  While all of these moms have 1 baby at a time, they helped me to relax about a lot of things and pushed me to try things with the girls, like real food and high chairs, before I thought I was ready for it!  I cannot thank them enough for the friendships we now share and I know we will be friends for a long time to come!

I also joined a group on Long Island, called Mingling Moms.  Four luncheons were set up for us with guest speakers and there, I met some wonderful “first time mommy friends!”  These women were in the same boat as me, having their first baby and live close by to me, but no one had twins.  That was okay though, because we all still understood the sleepless nights together and again, they have seen me at my best and worst and I also have them to thank for my sanity!  We made playgroups together, have taken music classes together and are about to start our first Mommy and Me class this week, which I am so excited for!  With this amazing group of women, as well as my “second time mommy friends,” Dave and I have found a wonderful social life that has helped me make it through a year with twins (Dave likes their husbands so we have all gotten together as families and as couples many time and I love them!!).

However, I also would not have made it through without my twins mom friend!  I joined the Mother of Twins Club on Long Island and definitely felt supported through the online forums.  I attended a few functions, like the Annual Fashion Show, but the best thing to come out of the club is the friendship I made with another mom of twins!  While all my other mommy friends are phenomenal, this friend really understands what I went through and what I will continue to go through with 2 babies at the same time!  We have very similar stories and we both have fraternal girls that are 3 months apart.  We met on a blind internet date sort of that my other mommy friends thought I was crazy for doing!  In the twins club, I decided to organize a playgroup for twins around the same age and though it would be a good idea to invite total strangers with their twins into my house.  A few people said they would come, but cancelled last minute except for this mom.  Luckily, she was not a serial killer, and we have formed a wonderful friendship that I hope will continue in the years to come. 

I really do have to thank all of the amazing friends I have made over the last year.  Like I said, you have truly helped keep me sane and have proved to me that I can do it!  THANK YOU!!    

Getting Out of the House

My biggest recommendation is getting out of the house with your baby or babies as soon as possible.  This is your life now and you do not want to be trapped inside your house all day every day!  It might seem like a burden at first, but the earlier you start doing it, the easier it will become.  I literally took the girls on walks every day as soon as they came home from the NICU and as soon as my pediatrician gave me the okay for them to be out in public, I did that too.  This is how I did it:

At first it’s relatively easy – the girls were in the infant car seats and those come in and out of your car.  So, I would carry the girls in and out of my house in the car seats, snap them into the car and when I was out, like at the mall or wherever, snap them into my stroller.  At first when the girls weighed only 4 pounds, I was able to carry both car seats at the same time.  As the girls got heavier, I would sometimes put both car seats by my front door, run one into the car and come back for the second one.  However, I live in a gated community and my garage is detached from my house so keep that in mind. 

In terms of a stroller, they make a double snap and go stroller, but I thought it was too long.  Instead I use the Baby Jogger City Select stroller.  You can buy car seat adaptors so it acts like an easy snap and go where you just literally snap the car seats into the adaptor and go.  It also is the stroller I’m still using now.  There is something like 16 different configurations for this stroller.  My favorite is that now that the girls are in regular stroller seats, I have them actually facing each other.  It’s adorable!  And the other great thing about this stroller is since it’s the width of a single stroller (and can be used as a single.  One of my best friends has it for 1 baby), it fits through all doors easily.  I just back up into doors, holding the door with my butt and sometimes a nice person will offer to hold the door for me!  But, when that doesn’t happen, it’s never an issue.  On a side note, my twins friend mom has the Double City Mini stroller, which is a side by side stroller, and loves it!  Personal preference!

Anyway, I literally kept the girls in the infant car seats as long as possible so that it was easy to take them anywhere and everywhere!  I would eat in restaurants with them sleeping in the car seats on their stroller or awake and playing with toys.  It made transferring them while they were sleeping easier too.  Once they started eating baby food, I would keep them in the car seats to feed them while I was at a restaurant too.  At this point, my girls were way too small for high chairs.  As they started to get bigger though, I used the booster seats in restaurants all the time.  I would just keep them in my trunk and if I had to bring them with me, I would hook one on a stroller hook and put one in the underneath basket.  Eventually, the girls got big enough for regular high chairs so that makes it easier because I have to carry less with me.

Now that the girls are in their regular car seats that don’t transfer in and out of the car, things are a little different.  I often carry both to my car, one in each arm.  I put one in her car seat while I sit the other one down on the floor of the back seat of my car with a toy and my foot blocking her from going anywhere.  Or, I’ll put one girl in the car while the other is playing in the house in a safe enclosed area and then run back in for her.  Once I get somewhere, I always have to have my stroller with me.  One girl goes in and then the other.  Although, I’ve gotten very strong so if I’m just meeting friends for lunch, I will carry both in and put them right into high chairs.  Being with helpful friends is so important.  The people I’ve met through the girls are amazing!  But, that’s for my next blog!

In the meantime, let me summarize:  Get out of your house!  Don’t be scared that you can’t do it with 2 babies because YOU CAN!  Pack up your diaper bag and put it in the car before you take the babies out.  (FYI, in my diaper bag I have diapers, wipes, change of clothes, toys and snacks.)  Leave the babies in the infant car seats as long as possible!  Once they get bigger and are eating at restaurants with you, leave 2 booster seats in your trunk.  Figure out what works for you – can you carry 2 babies at the same time?  Do you have to put 1 in the car and run back for the other?  Learn your limitations but live your life!   

The Feedings

During the first 4 months, I cried a lot.  Literally, I think I cried almost every day.  But, I was okay with this because I knew why I was crying.  Well, I kind of knew.  First of all, after having 2 babies, my hormones were ridiculous!  When you’re pregnant with twins, there is obviously just more of everything.  So, it makes sense that it might take longer for my body to balance itself out.  But, on top of that, I had 2 babies at home.  2 babies!  It is just ridiculous no matter what!  It’s very overwhelming with 1 baby (according to all my friends who had just 1 baby) and they all said they don’t understand how I did it with 2.  And I will say, I absolutely don’t understand how anyone has triplets!  At least with twins, I have 2 hands; my husband and I are 2 people so we can each take care of 1.  But, 3 at the same time?  Wow!

Anyway, I quickly realized that for me, the most overwhelming part of this was the feedings.  Anyone I spoke to about twins always told me how important it was to have the girls on the same schedule.  When 1 eats, the other eats.  When 1 sleeps, the other sleeps.  But, with 2 preemie babies that weighed just about 4 pounds each, I could not figure out how to feed them at the exact same time by myself!  They were too little to really be comfortable eating in bouncy seats, their car seats or on boppy pillows.  I really had to hold each girl when she ate.  So, I would change 1 baby and feed her, the whole time praying that the other baby wouldn’t scream her head off waiting for me!  Sometimes this worked and sometimes it didn’t.  The problem also was that as preemies, feedings took a long time!  And in between the feedings, the girls didn’t do much at this stage.  They slept, pooped, opened their eyes to look around and have to eat again.  Not much reward so far in this job!  I felt like I was always feeding someone and I was not super into it!  The best part of my day would be when I had a family member over to help!  I always scheduled their visits around feedings so someone could feed 1 girl, while I fed the other.  If you weren’t willing to help with a feeding, I did not want you to come over!

The good news is, as everyone told me it would, things got easier as the girls got older and bigger.  After about 4 months, I finally felt like I could take a deep breath again.  I realized that this was my life and I had wanted it really, really, really badly!  The girls started sleeping longer stretches at night and I got used to the feedings.  They became quicker and the girls could sit in some kind of contraption.  This way I could feed them at exactly the same time by myself.  For example, I would put them each in a bouncy seat and I would sit in between them holding their bottles up for them.  (Unfortunately, my girls never learned to hold their own bottles.  To be honest, I never worked really hard with them on that, but it definitely would have made things easier.  Instead, I worked on the girls holding and drinking out of cups when the time came and that, they did really well at a pretty early age.)  Of course, when 1 needed to burp, I had to stop feeding both of the girls to burp 1 and then the other.  And of course, I couldn’t have 2 easy babies, but 2 babies with reflux so that made feeding even harder.  And that made my entire wardrobe smell like cheesy vomit!  The girls spit up constantly, all day long, and they both did it!  Zoey would finish her bottle and 2 hours later, right before she was due for her next bottle, she would still be spitting up.  Kayla would do the same thing.  It was disgusting!  But, we all made it! The reflux and spitting up got better once the girls learned to sit up on their own, which was about 7 months and now, the girls happen to be amazing eaters!  But, there’s more on that to come!

As a side note, I want to thank everyone for all their wonderful responses to this blog!  I just felt like when I was going through all of this, not many people were talking about it and that would have helped!  I know I might be rushing through things and that’s because I want to catch everyone up to real time with what’s happening with the girls now!  But, please, do not hesitate to contact me directly with any comments and/or questions about anything I’ve discussed: fertility treatments, twin pregnancy, the birth, etc.  I’m here to be as open and honest as possible and would love to help!  I’m having so much fun finally putting this all down on paper and I really have to thank you all again for all your support.  Stay tuned for the next entry….

The Girls Come Home!

Okay, so, 8 days after the girls were born and Dave and I had spent every minute we could at the hospital with them, Kayla was discharged and came home!  We were excited, but nervous as could be!  Granted, we had a lot of experience with babies being that my sister-in-law is my best friend and has 2 kids who I live for!  I knew how to change a diaper and feed a baby a bottle.  And, like I mentioned last time, the NICU was such a blessing in disguise and taught us everything!  But, it’s a whole new ball game when it’s actually your baby you’re bring home!  In order to help us, we hired a baby nurse who would live with us 24 hours for about 2 weeks and help us take care of the girls and take care of us!  But, being that I had the girls early and then they were in the NICU, our baby nurse was not available that first night.  So, we tearfully said good-bye to Zoey that day and brought Kayla home.

We had Kayla sleep in a bassinet in our room and she was up every 3 hours.  Wow, I never realized how much I liked sleep until I wasn’t able to do it!  She was just so little and helpless, it was scary!  But, we made it through the first night and then our baby nurse came to literally save the day!  We moved Kayla into her crib in her room and the baby nurse slept in the room with her, taking care of her during the night.  And, 3 days later Zoey came home too!  That was a very exciting day, but it made everything very real for me.  All of a sudden, we really had 2 babies!!  I still didn’t feel like they were totally mine, but I knew I was responsible for them to say the least!

After 2.5 weeks with a baby nurse, Dave took off a week and a half and we really started getting into a groove with the girls.  They were on the same NICU schedule of eating every 3 hours and basically sleeping in between.  Then, he had to go back to work.  I thought I was such a big shot and said, “No problem, I can totally do this!” 

After crying every day for a week, I finally admitted I needed help.  Not only was I so overwhelmed by having 2 babies at the same time that could not do anything for themselves, nor tell me what they wanted or needed, but I was also really missing being me!  I wanted to go to the gym when I woke up, shower, eat breakfast, go get a manicure, etc.  I wanted to do all of the things I used to be able to do without even thinking about it.  Now, I was a slave to 2 little aliens who I still didn’t totally believe were mine, and I had a very hard time adjusting!  If you ever felt any of these feelings, you’re not alone!  In fact, just last night when I was out celebrating a friend’s birthday, I was talking to some of my new mommy friends (who have been one of the best things to happen to me thanks to the girls!) and she was saying she had the exact same feelings.  It’s hard adjusting to being a mommy and I don’t think anyone should feel guilty about that!   

Anyway, after Dave went back to work and I was on my own for a week, we found a night nurse to come 2-3 nights a week.  She was my savior!  I got to sleep and try to rejuvenate and eventually, I convinced her to come earlier in the afternoon to give me some time to myself too!  I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her!  I highly recommend a night nurse if you can afford it (it can cost a small fortune but worth it!)

So, now, I’m getting into my groove with help, the girls are on a schedule, but I’m still crying almost every day.  What now?

The NICU

When we originally were told our babies would have to go to the NICU, we really had no idea what that meant.  It sounded scary, especially when we understood that meant they weren’t coming home with us.  But, it’s not like there are options.  The NICU is where the girls had to go, so that’s where they went.

Kayla was born at 3 lbs 13 oz and 17 ¾ inches long.  Zoey was born at 3 lbs 14 oz and 17 inches long.  No wonder I didn’t need stitches, they were little!  And if I’m being totally honest, they looked like aliens!  I knew I loved them, but they were just so little, their skin was hanging off their bodies, like when an obese person loses a lot of weight and then doesn’t know what to do with the excess skin.  And if I’m really honest, they didn’t feel like mine right away.  Maybe that has to do with the fact that they were taken to the NICU and not in my hospital room with me at all, and I did leave the hospital without them.  But, it was just all so surreal!  I had never wanted anything so badly, and now that I had it, I wasn’t sure I was still living my life!  But, I was and so I had to live it!

Both girls were doing very well, scoring 9s on the Apgar scales, which I still am not even sure what that means.  Kayla just needed to gain weight to be discharged, but Zoey had a little trouble coordinating breathing and eating or sucking.  So, she was on a feeding tube and a breathing tube for a few days.  That was very hard to see and it broke my heart.  But, it only lasted about 3 days and then she figured it out!  Kayla actually also had a little jaundice and had to go under the lights, but again that only lasted a day or 2.  About 5 days after the girls were born, Zoey had a drop in her heart rate and had to stay at least 5 days without that happening again before she could be discharged.  Plus the fact, that both girls had to weigh 4 pounds before we could take them home.  Again, all of this seemed so surreal, but I can talk about it so easily because of how great the NICU turned out to be!

In the meantime, my recovery was great.  Except for the first day after I delivered when I felt the side effects of the sodium nitrate form the preeclampsia.  That was horrendous!  It was like the worst flu you can imagine and I wouldn’t let anyone visit.  The next day I was discharged and we started figuring out a schedule to go see the girls. 

Let me stop here and talk about the NICU a little more.  Like I said before, the thought of it was scary at first.  But, I cannot say enough good things about the NICU!  The nurses were amazing and taught us everything!  They showed us how to take the babies’ temperatures, how to change them, how to feed them, how to hold them.  It was like free baby nurses!  And the best part was they put the girls on a schedule from minute 1!  The girls ate every 3 hours and for any of you pregnant with twins, all you will hear is how keeping them on a schedule, and the SAME schedule at that, is the most important thing!  I agree and I have to thank the NICU for making that happen so early on!  While we weren’t able to walk away with free diapers or formula like so many of my friends did from the regular hospital nurseries, we walked away knowing our twins were doing well and we learned how to take care of them. 

So, Dave and I were home, Kayla and Zoey were in the NICU.  They were eating every 3 hours so I tried to go to the hospital at the 11 am feeding and the 2 pm feeding and Dave would try to get to the 5 pm feeding but that almost never happened so we would meet at the hospital to do the 8 pm feeding, read the girls a story and say goodnight.  These feedings would sometimes last 45mins-1 hour and each girl would have only eaten about an ounce of formula.  Actually, with premature babies in the NICU we talked in CCs, not even whole ounces.  At first, if the girls drank 10 CC’s, we were ecstatic!  By the time they left they were up to about 50 CC’s, which was almost 2 ounces.  I was encouraged to pump and breastfeed, especially because the girls were premature, but I decided not to.  I think breastfeeding is a very personal decision and every woman should choose what she feels is right for her.  I give a lot of credit to the women of twins out there who do breastfeed.  I felt that with 2 babies, it was just not for me.  The girls were put on Similac Neosure which is formula special for preemies and has extra iron, and they remained on that formula for the first year of their lives, striving and doing great!

 Finally, after 8 days in the NICU, Kayla came home with us and 3 days later, Zoey came home as well.  Now what?!

The Birth!

So, there I was in the doctor’s office with my husband, being told I had developed preeclampsia and the only way to cure it was to deliver the babies.  I responded with, “Okay, when will we do this?”  “Now,” responded my doctor.  My next thought was, “Who’s driving, me or you?” but I didn’t say that out loud!  Instead, my husband and I looked at each other and said, “Okay, explain what’s next.”  My doctor told us we would go to the hospital, be checked in and I would be put on medicine for the preeclampsia (sodium nitrate) and medicine to induce labor (pitocin).  When the babies came, they would go to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), but they would be fine.  My doctor then informed me he had office hours so another doctor in the practice, whom I had never met, would deliver the girls.  (I totally forgot to tell you that at our 20 week sonogram we found out we were having 2 girls!  However, at 16 weeks we had asked our doctor to guess and he thought one was a boy.  So, for the next 14 weeks of my pregnancy, every time I had a sonogram, the first thing I asked the technician was to show me the 2 vaginas!)  Back to my birth…

Dave and I left the office, got in our car and called our parents to tell them we were having the babies today.  My mom was devastated as she had just gotten home from the hospital herself the day before, after a full hysterectomy.  She was not going to be able to do much for me or her granddaughters for weeks!  But, we all tried to stay calm and Dave and I walked to the maternity hall.  On our way I all of a sudden looked to Dave in panic.  “What’s wrong?” he said.  “What if I can’t talk during labor?  What are we naming Baby B?”  Dave and I had known from the beginning that Baby A was Kayla Rachel.  Years back we watched Rescue Me and one of the characters had a daughter named Kayla and we agreed then and there that if we ever had a girl, her name would be Kayla.  But, for Baby B, we still had a list of 6 names.  We had narrowed it down to Olivia Rose or Zoey Lila and I was secretly hoping for Zoey, but I didn’t want to say anything.  “Zoey Lila,” said Dave.  “Yes!!” I thought in my head.  And off we went to have the babies.

My labor really wasn’t bad.  The medicine took a while to work because the pitocin was supposed to speed up labor, but a side effect of the sodium nitrate was that it slowed down labor.  The worst part was having so many different people up in my privates!  Doctors and residents came in to check and see how dilated I was.  Then the delivery doctor had to break my water and that was gross!  Literally, like a waterfall out of my vajayjay and it didn’t stop trickling for a while!  But, when I was 6 cm dilated I got the epidural and that was amazing!  I highly recommend it!  As one of the nurses told me, no one gets a prize for not using the drugs!  After that I went to 10cm pretty quickly and I learned how to push and was moved into a surgery room (All twin pregnancies give birth in a surgery room in case they need an emergency C-section).

I was a rock star!  Literally 2 pushes and out came Kayla!  Then a lot of liquid!  Then I was ready to start pushing again but the doctor and nurses told me I could rest.  I said, “No way!  Zoey’s ready!”  And 2 pushes and exactly 3 minutes later out came Zoey!  I thought hearing their heartbeats for the first time was the best sound I ever heard, but that’s nothing compared to the first cry from your baby, or in my case, babies.  I got to hold both girls amidst my tears of joy and I can’t remember being so happy, except maybe on my wedding day and finding out I was initially pregnant!  Then, the girls were taken away for the NICU and I was told I didn’t even tear, no stitches needed!  The birth was over.  I was off to recovery.  Now, the hard part begins…  

Pregnancy

So, I was pregnant…with twins!  This concept did not actually sink in for me until I had both babies home with me.  But that part comes later.  First there is my pregnancy to discuss.

The first time I did IVF I was positive I was pregnant.  I think I thought that because in my head I was trying to be positive and was like, “How could this not work?!”  The second time around I was determined!  I actually joined an IVF support group through my fertility office and I did acupuncture.  Both of these things I give a lot of credit to towards helping me get pregnant the second round.  And, while I didn’t want to get my hopes up at all, I really knew this time that I was pregnant!  1-2 days after my transfer I got heartburn for the first time in my life!  Then, even though the fertility nurses and doctors will beg you not to take pregnancy tests at home because of the possibilities of false positives, especially with all the hormones you’re still shooting into you, I took 2 of them that both came back positive!  So, there I was pregnant…with twins!

Fertility is the best because for the first 8 weeks of my pregnancy I got to go to the doctor every week for a check-up and sonogram.  Hearing both babies’ heartbeats for the first time is one of the most amazing sounds you can imagine!  Actually, you really can’t imagine it until you hear it!  But, I was literally nauseous from the second I woke up in the morning until the second I went to bed at night.  Chances are I was nauseous in my sleep too, but thank god I was sleeping so I didn’t know it!  Nothing worked and I tried everything – those sucking candies and lollipops they sell at Buy Buy Baby, club soda and cranberry juice (which by the way is a perfect drink to get at a bar to fake out your friends when they still don’t know you’re pregnant!), everything with ginger in it, but nothing worked.  However, I was never so happy!  I didn’t care that I would walk into walk, gag in the bathroom and then have to put on a smile!  After trying so hard to get pregnant, nothing would spoil it for me!  I never actually got sick, just felt like it every day until about 16 weeks.

After that, I have to say, I had a fabulous pregnancy!  I felt good, I was working out and I LOVED my maternity clothes!  They make the coolest maternity clothes now!  I had Sevens and Citizens of Humanity jeans, adorable dresses and tanks.  I’ve since passed my wardrobe onto 2 other pregnant friends and I totally got jealous seeing them in some of my clothes – not because I wanted to be pregnant again but because I really had some cute pieces in that wardrobe!

Anyway, I really felt good and looked good!  My husband and I got the baby room painted, we moved the furniture form my nephew and niece that my sister-in-law and brother-in-law gave us, and my parents ordered a second crib.  A second crib?!  Ridiculous!  Everything was getting ready.  We registered at Buy Buy Baby and had a lot of fun with that.  For any of you pregnant with twins – you don’t need 2 of everything!!  And when you do buy 2, buy 2 different colors or different patterns.  I would say the most important things to have 2 of are bouncy seats, boppy pillows, swings and nap nannys. But, I’m digressing…..my pregnancy, right.  At about 30 weeks my doctor said everything looked good but to start taking it easy.  Stop working out and try to relax as much as possible.  Another great thing about being pregnant with twins is that after fertility kicked me out at 8 weeks I went to a high risk doctor with a certification in fetal and maternal medicine.  This means I got to go to the doctor for sonograms much more often than a singleton pregnancy which was great because I always felt like I knew what was going on and that everything was okay!

At about 34 weeks I called my doctor because I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions all weekend.  This was on a Monday.  He told me to come in for a check.  I went by myself because I assumed nothing was wrong and he monitored me, said I was fine and of course took urine and my blood pressure.  I literally never walked into the doctor’s office without getting my blood pressure checked and giving urine!  Anyway, my blood pressure was high.  The doctor took blood and I was instructed to come back Wednesday.  I went back Wednesday and my pressure was still high but everything else was in check.  My platelets levels weren’t great, but I was told to come back Friday.  By this point, I think my husband who hadn’t come with me to these 2 check-ups, was getting a little nervous.  So, Thursday night we packed the hospital bags and Friday morning he told work he would be late and came with me to the doctor.  My pressure was still high, my blood work didn’t look great and now there was protein in my urine.  In other words I had developed preeclampsia and the only cure is to have the babies.  I was 34.5 weeks pregnant….   

Finding out its TWINS!!!!!

After finding out we were pregnant, I was on cloud 9!  I was scheduled for my first sonogram a week later, at which point I would be 5 weeks pregnant.  That whole thing, by the way, is so weird to me.  I understand that when people get pregnant naturally, they count from their last period.  But, I can actually tell you within a 3 day window when I got pregnant, yet my due date was still calculated based off my last period.  So weird!  Anyway, at this point I was 4 weeks pregnant and scheduled for a sonogram the next week.

My husband and I both went to the fertility office super excited.  But, of course, with other women in the waiting room who were not pregnant yet, we did our best to contain ourselves.  My doctor came in, as did my best friend, I mean my nurse, and we looked at the screen.  And there, for the first time I saw my baby!  Granted, she looked like the size of a pea and that was under magnification, but there she was!  I just couldn’t believe it!  The doctor told us everything looked perfect – size, position, everything.  Then he said, “Oh, and the other baby looks perfect too.”  My husband and I looked at each other and said, “The other what?”  “The other fetus.  You knew we transferred 2 eggs so there was a chance of twins.  Well, you’re having twins.”  OH MY GOD!!!!!!  WHAT?!?!  TWINS, as in 2 babies?  OH MY GOD!!!!!

Let me backtrack a minute…so, when we decided to move forward with IVF, my doctor explained that he thought we should transfer 1 embryo, based on my age, health, size, etc.  However, during that first round I did not stimulate as well as we’d all hoped.  I only had about 9 eggs and then I think only 7 fertilized and out of those there were really only 2 good embryos to transfer.  So, we transferred both and neither took.  Remember, my first IVF did not work.  So, the second time around, it wasn’t even a question.  I again didn’t stimulate fabulously, even though we changed the meds a little.  But once again, I had similar numbers and transferred two eggs.  Although this time, apparently, they both took and I was pregnant with twins!!!

After my husband and I left, we looked at each other in the car and cracked up laughing!  The first thing I thought of was that 7 years ago, when we went on our first vacation together just the 2 of us, we had met this amazing couple from Canada who had twin boys.  One night in our cabin (it was a cruise), Dave told me how we wished we would have twins, he thought it was the coolest thing ever.  We joked and I explained to him that he had no hopes – there weren’t twins on either side of our families ever!  But, he just laughed and said he could always hope.  Well, baby, you got your wish!  We had twins...

Finding out

Finding out I was finally pregnant was the best phone call I think I ever received!  Basically, on a Monday I was scheduled for my first blood test, but I was not supposed to find out any results.  I was also scheduled for a second blood test 2 days later, on Wednesday, and that’s when I would hear the good or bad news (the reason you have to wait the 2 days is for the doctors to ensure your hormone levels are going up to indicate a true pregnancy).  But, before I continue this part of my story, I have to take a time out and briefly discuss my nurses and doctors and my fertility place.

For those of you who have gone through fertility treatments, you understand what it’s like.  For those of you who haven’t, it sucks!  You get poked and prodded every other day during your cycle to see how your follicles are responding to the meds you’re taking.  And the meds are a lot to take.  You take shots and suppositories and your husband gives you shots.  But, of course, once you get pregnant, it’s all worth it!  And I truly don’t think I would have gotten through it without my personal IVF nurse and doctor at my fertility place.  My nurse was my best friend throughout the process.  Literally, she was my best friend.  I never felt like an annoying patient when I called with questions and somehow I always got off the phone or left the office feeling positive.  My doctor was the most gentle, optimistic yet realistic and trustworthy man I know, besides my husband!  When this was all over, I actually asked my doctor if he could stay on as my OB/GYN, but unfortunately, he could not.  Anyway, the point is my nurse and doctor made this whole horrible process a little bit easier to manage and I owe them everything!

Back to the phone call….After I got to work that Monday morning, I actually called the fertility billing department with a few questions.  They had to call me back so of course, as during this entire process, I had my cell phone with me at all times!  When the phone rang and the fertility number came up on my ID, I assumed it was the billing department calling to answer my questions.  Instead, it was my nurse and my doctor both on the phone.  At first, when I heard their voices, my heart sank.  I thought to myself, “I can’t believe it didn’t work again.”  Instead, they told me they were so excited and couldn’t wait for Wednesday; my levels were so high there was absolutely no doubt that I was pregnant! 

Now, imagine, I was working in a school where no one knew what was going on with me and I get this phone call!  All I wanted to do was scream at the top of my lungs, but I couldn’t!  Instead, I said, “Hold on guys,” and literally ran out my building into the street and screamed, cried, did my happy dance and probably said the words, “THANK YOU” a billion times!  I hung up the phone, took a deep breath and called my husband who was also at work. 

I tried to be as normal as possible and went through the usual, “Hey, what’s up?  How does your morning at work look?”  Then I said, “So, we’re pregnant!”  My husband I think dropped the phone and didn’t believe me!  I explained what happened and we immediately screamed and cried and planned how to tell our families.  Remember, no one thought I was finding anything out today so finally, we knew we could surprise them with something….

And that’s exactly what we did.  My husband left work a little early.  First we went to his parent’s house and told them the amazing news.  Then we went to my parents and told them.  Finally we went to his sister’s (who is my best friend in the world) and actually stopped at Taco Bell to pick up a taco first.  When my sister-in-law told us she was pregnant with our nephew and then 3 years later with our niece, it was over Mexican food).  At this point we all knew I was pregnant, but that’s it.  The fact that I was pregnant with twins was still unknown….

And so it begins....

Okay everyone, my first real twins blog entry!  Where do I start?  I guess the beginning would be the best part, but when you have twins, somehow directions, time, basically everything feels upside down at times!  But, I’ll try my best!

My husband and I have been together since I’m 18 years old.  We met in college, the first week of my freshman year actually, and that was it!  We lived in Manhattan for almost 7 years and then decided we were absolutely busting out of our 1 bedroom apartment.  I think the luggage in the living room and the golf clubs right next to the kitchen/dining room table gave us the hint.  We decided to move to Long Island and this to me meant get pregnant.  I was definitely one of those naïve girls who assumed getting pregnant would be super easy so I was ready ASAP!  My husband was a little more sensible and decided we needed to make sure we could afford our mortgage before we jumped on the baby train.  We moved in October, started trying in January and by May we still weren’t pregnant.  We had been having a lot of fun trying, and I mean A LOT OF FUN trying!  But, I was starting to get frustrated.

Since I commuted to Manhattan but had summers off, we decided to go to a fertility clinic to get tested.  This way, when they told us nothing was wrong, we figured mentally, we’d just get pregnant.  But, after tests and being told nothing was wrong with either of us, we still didn’t get pregnant.  So, our fertility journey began with using chlomid and timing intercourse ourselves.

That didn’t work.

Then we tried an IUI, which is basically artificial insemination and guess what…

That didn’t work either.

Next step, IVF.  I assumed, especially since nothing was wrong, that was going to work.  But,

The first round did not work.

After that dreaded phone call about not being pregnant once again, I let myself really cry.  I asked my husband if he knew this was going to happen if he still would have married me.  I asked him if he wanted out of the marriage too.  He of course said no and so the next day I decided to go for another IVF round.  And…

That one worked!  To Be Continued…..

Info on M-O-M

This blog will start with the beginning and continue weekly/biweekly until we reach the present, which right now is 1 year old twins.  From there, I will give live updates of what is going on with them, me and everyone else involved.  Wish me luck!!!