As promised, here is my list of why having twins is so much harder than having 1 baby at a time:
1. There are 2 of them! Plain and simple, there are 2 babies at the same time, who can’t do anything for themselves!
2. As a first time mom, who decided to stay at home while my husband went to work every day, I was outnumbered from day 1. Thank God I have 2 arms, 1 for each baby! But, to be honest, before the girls could hold their own heads up, 2 arms weren’t all that helpful! I seriously do not understand how moms of triplets do it!
3. Along the same theme that there are 2 babies, there’s also double of everything. Double the poop, double the spit up, double the diaper changes, double the bottles, double the formula, etc. You get the picture!
4. Double everything also means double your time to do things too. In other words, especially in the beginning, everything was always a race against the clock. If both babies were sleeping I was racing to pay the bills before someone woke up. Or, if it was time to eat and 1 baby was calm, I was racing through the first feeding so that I would get to the next feeding before she threw a crying and screaming fit! There just never seems to be enough time with 2 babies!
5. Let’s talk about crying. One baby crying can be so sad or so annoying, depending on the situation! But, imagine having 2 babies screaming their heads off at the same time. Or sometimes, even worse, 1 baby screaming her head off and just as you calm her down, the next one starts screaming her head off. It can get pretty horrible and can make you seriously doubt yourself as a mother. It can feel impossible to be able to soothe both of your babies.
6. Another reason twins are harder is the schedule. I think the #1 piece of advice I got when I was pregnant with twins was that as soon as they’re born I needed to put them on the same schedule. As I’ve mentioned before, that was actually one of the advantages of having the girls in the NICU because they really took care of that for me. Once I had the girls home, I just had to keep it going. But, that’s a lot easier to say than to actually do! I think I got very lucky that my girls, on their own really, went down to nap or sleep at the same time. I made sure to feed them at the same time, or 1 right after the other, even if someone didn’t eat that much at a feeding. And while I agree it is the most important thing about having twins, it’s hard to do!
7. When you have a baby and make mommy friends, everyone talks about their babies. It gets very hard not to compare your baby to everyone else’s. Who’s doing what first or for how long, etc. I think I got pretty good at ignoring that since I had 2 babies and they were preemies. I just kept reminding myself I was in a totally different situation. But, I have found it impossible not to compare my girls to each other. After all, I live with both of them in the same house 24/7. When 1 girl does something, I’m excited, but just waiting for her sister to do it! It can make appreciating some of the milestones a little difficult! But, I know, especially as the girls get older, I want each one to be her own person. I have to stop with the comparing as soon as they’re both walking and talking. At least I hope I can!
8. As happy and excited as I get when the girls reach a milestone, some milestones make things more difficult. I couldn’t wait for the girls to start moving! It definitely made them happier. But, then I had 2 babies crawling in opposite directions! Let’s just say I haven’t been bored in over 14 months! But, at the same time, I love every day they get bigger and better! In fact, now that Kayla’s walking, I can’t wait for Zoey to do it too. I do know that some of my twin mommy friends have found it much harder for a while though.
9. Just like with any siblings, typically, when one of my girls gets sick, it’s just a matter of time until the other 1 gets it. What makes this harder, especially at this stage, is that they can’t tell me what’s wrong or what would make them feel better. I just have 2 sick babies who want all my love and attention and I end up feeling very inadequate that I can’t fully provide enough for either one of them. Being sick sucks and it definitely sucks even more with twins!
10. To sum it up, the most difficult part of having twins is THERE ARE 2 OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!! Just imagine anything you go through with one baby and double it!
Well, that’s my list for now. And I must say, I am pleasantly surprised that I only have 3 extra items than my “good list.” I guess that just goes to show that as impossible as having twins may seem at times, it really is the best thing that has ever happened to me (besides meeting and marrying my husband!). I really wouldn’t change it for anything. I don’t think I’d want to do it again, but I am so happy and so proud to be a mommy of twins!